Children say the funniest things 2011

At the start of the year I took a few moments to look back and capture the wisdom and wit expressed by the youngest members of our family. 

You can read it here.

Twelve months on, these moments in time keep on occuring: surprising us, delighting us and, on occasion, stopping us in our tracks.

That’s what kids do, I guess.  They see the world in colours that, with increasing years, we tend to become blind to.  

So, without further ado, here’s a look back on 2011 as captured by two seven-year old twins.

Enjoy!

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"Daddy, when you wear that scarf your neck looks very small."
(Juliette, On giving someone a Complex)

"Daddy, I feel like a slup." 
(Lea, On the importance of not confusing your Ps and Ts) 

"I spy something beginning with F. It's not an object. Give up?...fun!"
(Juliette, On seeing a dimension of life in the Emergency Room at 0230hrs that adults are simply blind to)

”I can't touch you, Daddy, because you are sick and I'll catch the fleas.”
(Lea On bedside manner)

"Daddy, why is it that humans can eat chocolates, but chocolates cannot eat humans?"
(Lea, On standing up for the rights of others)

"Daddy, in my new library book it says that if you have a Border Collie like ours, you have to buy 24 sheep. Otherwise, it will get bored."
(Lea, On pushing modern pet care a step too far)

"After next year, I'll be in Grade 2 and then we go to High School."
(Lea, On accelerated learning)

"No, Daddy, I don't want to come for a walk with you this morning - unless you want to take me in a pushchair."
(Lea, On taking laziness to a whole new level)

"Daddy, there are humans and there are aliens. We don't actually know if there are really aliens. Apparently, though, if you go onto the internet you can find out for sure."
(Lea, On the ultimate Google search)

“So the snake was Harry's mummy."
(Lea, On summing up the Hogwarts adventure)

"Is there police in England? It doesn't look like it."
(Lea, On mindless acts of violence)

"Did you hear about London? Someone broke it."
(Juliette, Discussing recent social unrest with a friend at summer school)

"Today was a fabulous day. Amazing. Super."
 (Juliette, On being in grade 1)

"ISB is a vere gu schol.  Mum is a fablus wurcr.  Dad is a fublus wurcr." 
(Juliette, On learning to write)  

"Daddy, Daddy, I came second in the track race today!" (Twin 1)
"Daddy, Daddy, I almost came second too.... second to last." (Twin 2)

"Someone in my class can turn their tongue into a flower. I wish I could turn my tongue into a flower."
(Juliette, On green envy)

Juliette was proudly reading her reading book tonight when she came across the line, "Sam got some water for the ditch." It was a bad day to get her b's and d's mixed up.

"Why are you rushing? You don't have a boyfriend waiting for you at a restaurant."
(Juliette, On why Lea should colour in the lines)

"Ooh Dad, you said the 'sh...' word! ..... (pause).... Shtupid!"
(Lea, On swearing)

"You exist.  I exist.  Ghosts don't exist."
(Juliette, On the meaning of the word existence)

"Daddy, you MUST not set the alarm or make a fire this evening or St Nicolas will not be happy when he comes by tonight."
(Lea, On making sure nothing will spoil her chances of getting the present she wants)

‎"Daddy, can your boss chuck kids out of school? Because, if he can, I have a name for him. Someone who has been really mean to me today."
(Lea, On pulling strings)

"You know, Daddy, when we went to the Grand Place we saw sheep and kings and shepherds and the baby Jesus. We even saw God. But it was the fake one."
(Juliette, On seeing things as they really are)

THE END 

Children say the funniest things

One of the advantages of Facebook, or Twitter for that matter, is their ability to keep a record of stories that otherwise are forgotten.

Until just a couple of years ago, family life was full of tiny fragments of life worth remembering – feelings expressed, words spoken, or places visited.  But however meaningful or funny they may have been at the time, they were quickly forgotten to everyone except the few who chose to keep a notebook beside their bed.

Today, that’s all changed.  With a few simple clicks, I can retrieve a year of status updates and smile again at the wisdom, insight and humorous logic of a young child’s mind.

Here are just a few of the highlights:

'When you die mummy, you will be in my heart... Like Michael Jackson.' (Juliette, On The Sudden Death of Michael Jackson)

'Look Daddy, you aren't allowed to brush your teeth on this plane.' (Léa, On Modern Travel)

'Daddy, why do we live in country where the sun never shines and it is always cold?' (Léa, On Life in Belgium)

'You know, Daddy, the house of Léa’s Godmother is just so beautiful. She lives in Paris. It's next to a park and it never, ever rains.  It is always sunny. Sometimes it snows, but then there are a million snowflakes.' (Juliette, On The Grass Being Greener On The Other Side)

'Daddy, what's that funny music machine called?' (Juliette, On Seeing A Record Player For The First Time)

‘Mummy, I know how to juggle. But only with one ball.’ (Juliette, On Multitasking)

‘When a girl gets married, she bows towards her future husband, raises her hat and says “Your Majesty”'. (Juliette, On Love and Marriage)

‎’Daddy, why on Thanksgiving do we eat the Turkish?’ (Léa, On Thanksgiving)

'Once upon a time there was a mosquito who lived in the hat of a little girl. One day the naughty mosquito climbed down and bit the girl 100 times on her face. It was very itchy!' (Juliette, On Local Wildlife)

ME: Juliette, were you in Jack's room?
JULIETTE: ’No, I swear!’
ME: ‘So why was Jack angry with you?
JULIETTE: ‘He wanted me to get out.’
ME: ‘Of where?’
JULIETTE: ‘His room’.

                (Juliette, On Getting Out Of Trouble)

‎’Daddy, I learned all about Sweden today. I learned that they all buy their biscuits from IKEA." (Juliette, On Cultural Diversity)

 'Mummy, I wish I was an omlette.  It woud be so warm in that pan.' (Juliette, On How Bad The Weather Is)

‎’I know I'm real, because when I close my eyes I'm still here." (Léa, On Cartesian Theories of Existence)

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Juliette and Léa are now 6 ½ years old and will, before long, stop seeing the world in this unique way.   

Thanks, though, to Facebook for helping me remember this part of their childhood. 

And thanks to Juliette and Léa for keeping us entertained along the way.