10 things my child’s teacher has taught me about good parenting

Good teachers enable our children to write a different kind of future.  That’s a fact.

As another school year end, however, I left thinking about the way in which the best teachers have not only gifted my children with an empowering learning experience; but, along the way, have unwittingly taught me a thing or two about how to be a ‘dad’.

Here’s the short story.

1. My children need me.  Our children need us to wake them up in the morning, prepare their clothes, make their sandwiches and get them to school on time; they need us to help them hang up their coat, kiss them goodbye and promise that we’ll see them at the end of the day.
2. My children don’t need me.  It takes a while for some of us to realize, but the entrance to the classroom is marked by an invisible line; a threshold beyond which the genetic claim upon my children changes; a reminder of the fact that ultimately these little ones do not and cannot depend upon me alone, but will enjoy a variety of ‘significant others’ in their lives – each one enriching and bringing themes of hope, love and life to their unfolding story.
3. My children thrive with consistency.  It’s the relentless, daily routines that make a difference, bring security, and make their world predictable.  In the curious land of our infancy, consistency is king and, as parents, we ignore it at our peril.
4. My children enjoy inconsistency.  Bring a tree trunk into the classroom and ask the children to paint it in bright colours; take a trip to the local supermarket and draw a map of the journey; meet a local author in the library and listen to him tell his stories – it is this occasional disruption of the routine, the element of surprise, that fills my children with a sense of awe and wonder.  As a parent, it is good to be reminded to be creative and ‘shake it up’ occasionally for those entrusted to our care.
5. My children are part of a group.  There comes a moment for all of us, when we suddenly realize that our weekends are destined to be spent wrapping presents for 5-year olds and driving our kids to remote locations across town, in search of the house with balloons out front.  It is at this same moment we realize that our children actually have a secret life beyond our reach.  It’s like when I walk across the playground and an older child comes up to my daughter and greets her.  For some reason, I am always taken aback – and somehow left feeling that she’s still too young for that kind of independent socializing.
6. My children stand out from the group.  A class is nothing more than a list of names on a rota.  At least, that is what some teachers would have us believe; except the good ones – who, with every word, make me feel that my child is the most precious, unique, and deserving child they have ever taught.   I continue to be in awe of how they manage to do this with all twenty children in the class.  As a parent of six, I am already finding it a challenge!
7. My children can do nothing.  There’s never enough time for anything these days.  We find ourselves as families rushing from one place to another, desperately trying to fit everything in.  ‘Rest time‘ in the classroom, though, is different.  It speaks of quality rather than quantity – and the importance of balance in our daily routines.  I need to get better at teaching my children that ‘nothing’ is sometimes ‘everything’.
8. My children can do anything.  As we grow into adults, most of us find ourselves locked into certain roles.  Perhaps that’s why I still love the ‘dressing up corner’ of the classroom; reminding me that we can do and be anything.  Children desperately need to believe that and, even more, believe in themselves.  I love it when my little girl comes home and tells me that, when she grows up, she wants to be a chef, a fireman, a cleaner or a hedgehog!
9. My children will forget.  Lost property bins flourish around young children.  It’s just in their nature to forget these various items of clothing from time to time; just as it is part of learning involves forgetting, making mistakes, and failing occasionally.  Some teachers believe that forgetting is bad and that memorization is key.  Great teachers, I have learned, simply help children to re-trace their steps and find their way back to whatever it is they have lost.  Great teaching never, ever involves humiliation or red-faces.  
10. My children will remember.  Perhaps this is the most important lesson of all.  It’s not the big things, nor the expensive things, nor the fancy things that will stay with them into adulthood.  As parents, I know we know that; but it is good to be reminded that what stays with children are the moments we offer them when they can be utterly themselves and know, in that same moment, that they are safe, loved, and truly unique. 

J., M., A., and C. (you know who you are) – you are all wonderful teachers and it has been my privilege to learn this much from you these past months.

Thanks also for making a difference to the future that our children are writing for themselves.

Time to enjoy the summer break.

Conversations that are shaping the future of international education

Our friends in the corporate world woke up to this idea a few years ago.  Communication, they told us, is all about a new kind of ‘conversation’ in which everyone is talking to one another in language that is open, natural, open, honest, direct, funny, and often shocking.’[i]  Hardly could they have imagined how far we would have come.  Hardly could they have imagined a world, not even ten years later, in which almost every aspect of what we do is caught up in conversations mediated by the growing authority of Social Media.

David Perkins summed it up perfectly: ‘Organizations,’ he says, ‘are made of conversations.’[ii]  Today, it seems, there is simply no doubting the truth and relevance of this statement.

So surely, at some point, we have to ask ourselves about the quality of the conversations we are having, who we are having them with and where on earth they are leading us.  We also have to think about a key aspect of any truly authentic conversation, namely, who we are listening to. 

Schools are complex organizations.  It is hardly surprising that they tend to be dominated by numerous overlapping conversations. 

So if you want to eavesdrop, here are a number of conversations that we are having right now.

Listening to our students: we are talking with students about their learning; inviting them to rate this learning against commonly agreed standards. 

Listening to our parents: we are leveraging the power of web 2.0 technology to listen-in to what people are saying about us. We are also spending a lot of time in more traditional face-to-face meetings with parents.  We want to better understand the hopes, fears, expectations and concerns of families arriving from every corner of the world. 

Listening to companies: we are preparing our students for life beyond school, recognizing that many of them will pursue careers in the world of business and enterprise.  We cannot afford simply to assume that our programmes of learning are adequate in their preparation of these students; so we are talking to companies, listening to their present challenges and future predictions. Only in this way, it seems, do we stand any chance of equipping our students with the knowledge, skills and dispositions they will need in the future. 

Listening to other schools: no school knows it all! Not surprisingly, then, by some distance, the most utilized forms of learning for school leaders are the well-established global networks of ‘schools talking to schools’.  On any given day, schools leaders from across the globe are talking to one another, gathering best practice and finding new solutions on any number of practical or pedagogical issues.  Social Media is undoubtedly making these conversations more effective and more immediate. 

So where is it all going?
How we finally engage people, listen for understanding, problem-solve and reach collaborative solutions will vary. In some cases, we will focus on the promise of Social Media.  In others, we will do better to stick to traditional face-to-face meetings.  In the end, however, it is clear that the emerging future of international schools will never depend on smart business plans or even the most promising educational manuals.  On the contrary, we will discover a future for ourselves by engaging in better, more collaborative, more thoughtful, more honest conversations with the people who really matter.   

This article was co-authored with Kevin Bartlett, ISB Director.  It is due for publication in Newsweek (Europe and Asia) on 28 September 2009.  The ISB Let's Talk Campaign will also begin on this date.  Click here for details.

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[i] Levine et al, The Cluetrain Manifesto: The End of Business As Usual.  Pearson Education, 2000.

[ii] Perkins, King Arthur’s Round Table: How Collaborative Conversations Create Smart Organizations. John Wiley, 2003.

Education for the world of work

Walking towards the Château reception, it was clear that an interesting conversation was taking place.

Another prospective family, busy asking questions about the school. Given their smiles and laughter, they were clearly already feeling at ease. I found out later that the family had enrolled their children and were already looking forward to joining our community.

Nothing unusual about that - unless you consider the fact that this initial welcome to ISB had been conducted, not by our admissions officer, but an ISB student in grade 11 who is enjoying playing his part in this year’s Student Volunteer Programme.

Along with his colleagues, Christopher’s job is clear and well defined. When his timetable allows, he signs up to meet a new family. He learns their names and greets them on the steps of the château. He welcomes them and makes them feel comfortable, before introducing them to our admissions officer. The whole encounter takes only about 10 minutes. But in that brief moment, Christopher performs a very important role on behalf of the school: he welcomes this new family and, in doing so, symbolizes the kind of students that ISB produces.

Today, Christopher is just one of eighteen students – including several from our learning support programme –who, following a rigorous application and interview process at the beginning of the year, were invited to join this year’s Student Volunteer Programme.

So how and why did it all start? The Programme itself was set up two years ago when the External Relations began to think about the double impact of involving students in the task of ‘telling the story of ISB and helping others discover their place in the story’. Some of us, at least, saw a rare win-win opportunity. On the one hand, students were a valuable human resource, enabling us to do more with limited resources. They were also – and much more importantly – a powerfully strategic voice in the communicative task and able to tell the story of our school from a unique perspective. In short, they not only told the story, they embodied it. At the same time, we had the capacity to offer real work experience in the fields of marketing, communications, school admissions, event management and development – all without having to step foot outside the ISB Campus.

ISB student volunteer strategy meetingThe idea floated, the next step was to set up a collaborative project between the High School Student Council, High School administration and members of the External Relations team. A project plan was drawn up and an initial 6 month trial was set in motion. And, not surprisingly, despite the enthusiasm of everyone involved, we learned more what not to do than anything else. After all, ensuring that students are given a meaningful learning experience that also adds significant value to key elements within the marketing and promotional actions of the school, is no easy thing – especially when you also have to compete for ‘attention’ with their highly complex and ever changing curricular, extra-curricular and personal agendas. Two years on, we are much better at knowing what works and what doesn’t. So we have ditched the long term, ill-defined, high maintenance projects, for a range of simple, achievable, well-defined and high-reward projects that guarantee the Programme for success.

... and it is not just about welcoming new families. Student members of the Programme are today actively involved in researching and writing stories for ISB News, writing for Newsweek, working with our Reception team (learning support), updating the ISB website, choosing and uploading photos to the school’s welcome media screens. They are also assisting in the planning, volunteer recruitment and implementation of high profile development events such as our annual Gala Dinner and Auction. It is all taken very seriously. Every student has a job description, has signed a volunteer contract and is supported by a supervisor who assigns tasks, gives assistance and monitors progress. At the end of the year, students can request a letter of recommendation that may accompany their university application or simply be added to their Curriculum Vitae. Some will also receive CAS ‘credit’ for hours spent engaged in various service activities around the school. Everything is connected: from the teaching and learning of key skills in various fields, to high school guidance, service programme and the school’s day-to-day promotional and communication activities.

So what’s next? Well, what is interesting about these sorts of initiatives is the amount of ‘joined-up’ thinking that begins to follow in its wake. The Programme itself is set to become a regular feature of the High School experience at ISB. In moving forward, however, this is just one of a number of plans to provide our students with greater access to valuable, hands-on work experiences, before leaving school. And, of course, by giving this level of visibility to the ‘student voice’ at ISB, we send a very positive message of the school to the outside world.

This article is awaiting publication in IS Magazine (ECIS), Spring 2009.